What does strong mean to you as an LGBTIQ+ person?
And how did you find your strong?
Queer Strong
Many Queer (LGBTIQ) people have experienced tough times and found their strong. We want to learn what strong means to Queer communities, and discover how Queer community members found their strong. This appreciative inquiry approach is about celebrating and consolidating Queer strength - and sharing stories with others to help build their strong. The Campaign is part of #FindingStrong, a campaign being undertaken by the Kindness Pandemic in collaboration with Beyond Blue and The Jo Bangles Project and with support from the Department of Premier and Cabinet Victoria.
We are documenting stories using text, photography and art based approaches. Selected pieces of art produced as part of this campaign will be shared (with permission) via Reb Bubble, to help make sure we bump into reminders of our Strong every single day.
We are calling on the whole Queer community to participate and we are working with The Jo Bangles Project in regional Victoria to help document stories. Please also keep an eye out for our Intergenerational Pride Fairy Tales coming soon.
We are documenting stories using text, photography and art based approaches. Selected pieces of art produced as part of this campaign will be shared (with permission) via Reb Bubble, to help make sure we bump into reminders of our Strong every single day.
We are calling on the whole Queer community to participate and we are working with The Jo Bangles Project in regional Victoria to help document stories. Please also keep an eye out for our Intergenerational Pride Fairy Tales coming soon.
How to Participate
If you would like to share your story about what strong (mentally strong, or resilient) means to you, here are the steps to participate:
We will include a collection of stories on this page and we Beyond Blue may also share your story on their social media. Please also check our other pages for story galleries about: Queer Strong and others coming soon.
- Share a story about what strong means to you as a Queer person and how you achieved it
- Use words to tell your story (please try to keep to under 200 words)
- Please also share an image to help tell your story
- Share your words and image to your social media with the hashtag #FindingStrong and #BeyondBlue
- Share your story to the Kindness Pandemic Facebook group directly or email and we will share it for you.
We will include a collection of stories on this page and we Beyond Blue may also share your story on their social media. Please also check our other pages for story galleries about: Queer Strong and others coming soon.
Story Gallery
We will share stories in this section of the page. Please note we will need to crop images to Facebook Post size to fit the page.
Caitlin Grigsby:I was recently asked by one of the strongest people I know to share how I ‘found my strong’ through tough times. And I’ll be honest, I let the message sit there for two weeks unanswered, thinking, strong is the last thing I feel right now.
I didn’t reply, I didn’t want to let her down. During these times in particular, those of us mantled with some kind of leadership status (however grateful and blessed we feel to be a resource and support to others)… well, it’s just easier to say nothing at all. Buy ourselves some time, until we are in a moment of strong, or at least positioned to offer that façade externally. Because if we aren’t ok, then it’s not ok. As if doing (saying the words out loud) will edge open a door we are desperately trying to keep closed with both hands. Overwhelm, fear, fatigue, shared isolation and frustration. Right now, I think strong is measured in just doing one’s best.
And what I’ve learned through all of this is that doing our best, surviving, keeping it together (as much as is healthy), well, that’s enough.
If my wife, my life, my clients, even COVID, has taught me anything, it is that there is strength in not being strong at all.
#FindingStrong, I don’t have to look far. It’s the moments where I’ve worked with a client closing their doors and more worried about their staff than food on their own tables. It’s the leader trying to maintain momentum and contribute to community, the people trying their darndest to keep up the act for the ones looking to them for strength, only to crawl into bed exhausted and have a bloody good cry. It’s the frightened nurse or aged care worker who just keeps showing up day after day.
Strength is in vulnerability, in authenticity, in sharing our grief in the face of circumstances unfamiliar and scary to us all. It’s in owning the ‘not okay-ness’ of these impossible situations. It’s in the reaching out for help to get us through. Strength is in perseverance, but also in the stumble and fall – the frustrated tears, the venting phone call with a friend you can’t touch or sit with. Because it takes real strength to let go too, to allow ourselves a moment of release, recuperation and recharge.
Finding my strong isn’t hard. It’s in them that I am reminded that we are all just doing the very best we can and that we all occasionally need to stumble and fall in order to pick ourselves back up and keep on ‘keeping on’. To me, that is real strength.
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Max Primmer: Looking back over my life, I feel I have always been a positive and resilient person, I also believe that accepting who I am and the life I needed to live has made me strong. Family love and support has helped me through tough times. Life has thrown quite a few curveballs at me and I have always got through these times with my positive attitude. Finding one true love and spending 30 years with that Man has also helped me through. He died in 2000 and I have moved on with my life by starting a new chapter in my journey. I have been close to death on a few occasions and have always thought I am not ready to die yet so fight this thing and get through it all. I have lived a very good life being true to myself and have also believed that I am Me and if that not to your liking then move on. It’s not my issue what you think. I am who I am. Now at an age where I am an Elder of our community, I am ready to teach and share my experiences of strength and love. Live it, Love it, Embrace it
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Sally Goldner AO: I have a personal definition of leadership that is “leadership is the transference of strength.” We all have strength and can give more when we grow that strength.
To cope with these unprecedented times means growing beyond previous “safety” and “comfort” zones. My early life, both in relation to gender identity (and other factors) meant I often felt mistrustful and abandoned as when I reached out for support, I didn’t get that support and affirmation and/or was outright ridiculed. I have until C19/lockdown been very cautious about reaching out and to whom.
By breaking out and being trusting in a more balanced way and finding support when needing it, I have strengthened myself and been able to bounce back from down moments more quickly. I can then continue doing what I can to strengthen others. This could involve posting fun items on social media e.g. famous peoples’ birthdays, animal clips, the daily good thing that happened and (be warned) bad puns including kink and queer puns.
The thing is, if it gives people a smile and a laugh that makes their day easier for 5 minutes then that is giving strength and leadership…and the bonus is I get little back too.
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Brad McKay: I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression 11 years ago. I was always more of an outcast than my peers and never seemed to fit the “normal” stereotypical of a young male. For years I isolated myself and shut out the real world as I indulged in books, films and video games, finding solace within those characters.
It took many attempts to take control of pushing my boundaries and getting out of my comfort zone. Opening up to closest friends and family about my struggles created an open dialogue and support network.
My strength comes from compassion and willing to be vulnerable. To open up to others and just be authentic to myself. I endeavour to see the beauty in the world around me and really live for the simple things.
I now have such a genuine partner who inspires and motivates me daily to be myself. My advice to others is to be who you want to be. Don't become who you think you should be. We are strong because of our diversity and individuality, not by our ability to blend in with others. Don't hide your passions and desires, embrace them as your true strength. And remember, to seek help when needed is a sign of strength, not one of weakness.
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Samuel Gaskin: To me is strength in vulnerability ….
When I learned this lesson it set me free ….
Strong for me, is asking for help , guidance , assistance, not letting me melt ….
Strong for me, is finding my happy , my fun , my peace, connection with family ….
Strong for me, embraces all parts, my Queerness , My Blackness, my love for the arts …..
Strong for me, is showing up for myself, nature walks , time out , letting some Whitney Houston belt …..
Strong for me, has been a long journey I’m still travelling, still growing, but most of all learning …….
Strong for me, was built from the dark, the sadness, the hard stuff, some childhood harm …….
Strong for me, is learning the lessons, embrace them and trace them to where they first happened …..
Strong for me, is blocking the GRIM. F#ck the news , F#ck the media, I’m going within …….
Strong for me, is playing with my puppies , my children , my husband, enjoying my garden …….
Strong for me, is LIVING MY BEST LIFE!
I won’t be happy till im doing it Oprah styles …….
Strong for me, is building my dreams , my music , my mana , my “RECKONING”
Photographer: Anna Fry
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Andrew Rogers: Depression and anxiety have been a part of my life over a decade. At my lowest point in 2016, when suicide again seemed the only option, a friend rang me. He asked a question: “Why have you disappeared?”.
My response was hesitant – I needed to know he was genuinely concerned. I then unfolded it all: I was unwell, unemployed, unsupported, and uncertain.
I ended with “I am broken beyond repair”. Hearing me out, he replied: “We can help”.
That help was practical, and hands on. Over six months, he and twenty others from the Melbourne Chargers (a gay and inclusive rugby club) held working bees that readied my house for sale. After it sold, they sheltered me and fed me, and kept me safe for months until I found a place of my own.
To this day, those same people hold tight a safety net, so my words now are of recovery and wellness. Their collective strong first restored and now nurtures my participation in life, so I grow bolder as I grow older.
My own strong is the embrace of these people whose collective strong weaves together a multi-generational family that, unquestioningly, creates a place that is home. That’s gay strong.
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Sean Towner: Growing up with a secret so dark that I thought I would never have the strength to say out loud was a heavy burden to carry as a young kid. It was a burden so heavy for me, that it nearly cost me my life.
It wasn’t until I had one conversation with one person that changed my life forever. That conversation, and the fact that I had found one other person to open up to, was where I found my strength.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but that conversation would build into a relationship that continues to make me stronger to this day, because the one person that I spoke to back then eventually became my best friend, and then my husband.
My strength came from sharing my pain with another. It’s this shared pain that makes us all stronger. Suffering with depression, anxiety or any other heavy emotional torment is like walking around carrying a bag of bricks on your back. I believe that every time you share your story with someone, it’s like handing them a brick, which makes your load easier to carry - and helps make you stronger.
Conversations can save lives, and we can all be someone else’s strength just by being there to listen and support - now more than ever □ With Michael C. Towner.
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Michael Winn: In times of hardship, it often feels like it takes all the effort in the world to be strong, and even more
to be kind. But when the going gets tough, the tough get kinder. To have the strength within myself
to make it through, I need to know that the world is there for me, and there for others. I need to
reaffirm that I exist in a world of togetherness, and a world of kindness. In my search for good, I
realised that I could be my own answer. That by playing a role in helping shape the world into a
place that I wanted to be a part of, I was strengthened by the good I then saw around me. By being
kind to others, it was easier for me to see the kindness in others, which in turn gives me strength.
Because it’s those who are kind that we need in our world. Those who lift our spirits, who inspire us
to keep going, no matter what life may throw at us. It can be hard to be kind, but there is strength to
be found within it, and the work is more than worth the reward.
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RJ:
For so long I thought being strong was all about physicality and power. It was all I’d seen and felt. One person using their strength over another. Racism, violence, homophobia and misogyny were all seen, heard and felt strongly.
Somehow I got away from that, along the way I decided to find a new way of being strong. I didn’t get it right all of time. I discovered the strength associated with words, with kindness but probably the most import place I found strength was in my own vulnerability.
I found a family of choice, they gave me strength by sharing theirs with me. I found a pride in my sexuality rather than shame. I began to own my identity. I worked hard to forge a career and continue to work with people to help them see their strength and celebrate it.
I have a wife who is proud to be with me, where I’ve come from and who encourages me to celebrate my strength, my survival. Together we’re raising four girls. They too will know strength, they already have it and it makes my heart sing.
I’m queer, I’m strong. I fought for this.
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Tim Stewart: Within a period of 6 years I had a severe case of depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation; separated and divorced after a 20-year marriage with 3 kids and came out to my ex-wife, children, family and friends, which is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. For me, building up my mental strength and resilience took a number of years and has been crucial in helping me get through the above challenging times in my life. I decided it was important to speak up early and to share my feelings with others I trusted which took courage but gave me the instant support I needed. My psychiatrist was critical in assisting me overcome my depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts through medications and psychological therapy. I also confided in a work colleague who is gay when deciding to come out and he was a pillar of strength in giving me inner strength and guidance. My partner at the time and now husband, Jon, was and still is a huge support in helping me build resilience and strength and vice versa. I believe, it is extremely important to build a support network you trust around you to help you through tough and challenging periods in your life and to help build ones resilience. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength.
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Catherine B: What made me strong? Coming out made me strong. I realised I was joining a marginalised group that experienced discrimination and abuse – and everyday microaggressions. There was a point where I was deciding to come out – where I realised if I was going to do it I had to stand PROUD. Not just because I wanted to cue other people. But because I decided that if I was going to acknowledge this really important part of who I am – I need to be there for myself 100%. I needed to valued my sexuality and I needed to value myself. I'm getting really good at it. Not saying I’m perfect, just saying that I have worked at it. What does strong mean to me? Strong means that I back myself. It means I value myself. I am not waiting for other people (as often) to affirm me – I decide who I am and what my value is. That’s strong. Understanding and valuing myself has meant that I can weather so many storms now. The older I get, the stronger I get. Strong means I know who I am and it also means I love who I am (mostly).
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Red Bubble
We will be uploading some of the art to a Red Bubble page, so that you can purchase reminders of Queer Strong. The Red Bubble concept gives a little of the funding back to the artist.
Information about supports
There are a number of Covid and Queer specific resources you can access, here are some of the
Support and Collaborations
The Kindness Pandemic is pleased to be collaborating with Beyond Blue and The Jo Bangles Project and to be supported by the Department of Premier and Cabinet, Victoria.
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